Half way into the new month of the new year, I finally decided to get my butt to the gym. Last weigh in last week was 163lbs. Down 32lbs from my starting point October 2009. Kind of sad, but I've maintained more than anything. Fluctuating the same 10lbs over and over again. my goal weight is 140-145 so for speculation purposes and for actually obtaining a goal. Lets go with 145, and if I hit that we'll go from there. That gives me 18lbs to lose. And I only have until July to lose it.
I know what most of you are thinking. that's 6 months to drop 18 lbs. that's 3lbs a month. But food has always been a battle for me. I love it, crave it, and I binge on it. Now when I'm focused.. I'm really focused. I love when I run.. its very very empowering.. but even if I run 5 miles a day, its not going to counteract the calories that are in a medium pizza (that I could EASILY consume alone). Food is my struggle, and I don't know if its so much of an emotional thing as an addiction. When I'm on a diet, my body semi freaks out and then its head games for however long that diet lasts... then I'll get off, and binge. Pointless dieting is what I call that my friends, and I really need to start changing my way of thinking and put an end to it.
my problem is, I really don't know where to begin. I've done everything from cabbage soup, to weight watchers, to JillianMicahels.com all have their perks and downfalls. the "easiest" was weight watchers. I didn't feel like I was depriving myself of food, but it was so hard to keep track of the points that I would get lost and caught up in it. Or feeling extremely guilty when consuming, say a meal from the cheesecake factory, at 42 points and knowing I only had 24 for the day. cabbage soup just made me starved (I couldn't even finish it out, I made it to day 5 and caved on pizza). JillianMichaels.com was probably my most successful venture. Its actually what made me exercise, and actually grow a love for it. Not that I WANT to get up and exercise, but I really like the way I feel when I do. I feel accomplished when I'm covered in sweat.. I feel alert, and honestly, I'm way more calm of a person when I can take out my aggression from whatever struggles I'm having that day on the treadmill.
now from the outside looking in. 3lbs/month. totally totally doable. I just really wish I had someone to keep me accountable for my actions. thus will serve the purpose of this blog. I'll weigh in once a week. (and really, after my bingeful weekend I'm not sure how accurate 163 is, but I'll weigh in again on Friday ;) )
so please if you follow my blog, little notes of encouragement will be appreciated. A swift kick in the rear of "The gym is around the corner, and running a couple of miles isn't gong to kill you and will only take you 20 minutes". Sometimes, I just need to be told.
Quick shout out to my NKT girls. Without Lisa I would have never started my journey, without Kristy I never would have learned some good tricks, without Robyn and Dawn I would never learn about the trash I put in my body (I'm informed, but I still do it). and without the rest (this includes my cheerleader Gina!) I would not have the support I need to continue with my journey.
so here we go again :)
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